While the other is so different

The butterfly effect, or Mr Nobody, I guess you know those movies. Which was the idea? That if we would behave different in a certain moment the things could be different now. Right? In fact we don´t need a movie to realize these things. Everybody´s thinking in this way: ” if I would do this instead of that, the things would be so different now…” In that certain moment we have unlimited possibilities to behave.

I am not smart nor clever, I have a small knowledge but even like this I am able to realize  how the things are around me. Speaking about my reality. In my reality they are 3 kind of men who don´t understand the woman: young, old and middle-aged. In my reality, if would be peace all over the world, the Miss Universe contest would be useless. In my reality, some memories are realities and are better than anything that can ever happen to me again. In my reality, the life it is not what you are living but what remains  you to tell(imagine a story) to the others after you almost lived your life.

Maybe I understand the things in a wrong way(but who is able to tell what is wrong and what is right?). I might be that complexed kind of person who, to conceal his identity, talk a lot and louder and expeditiously and that is why I am telling you all of these. Maybe I am an imbecile who does everything from recipe, reading Milan Kundera, drinking tea at 5 o´clock and has problems of consciousness. But I know for sure that life has a funny way of sneaking up on me.

Do you remember the time when you were in love? The sky at that time was full of violins that played only for you. You were one heart and one soul with your partner, you used to understand each other even without words and it was so easy to read on the lips of the other the desires.  Well, when you are a couple, is totally different. This requires a realistic look about things. To really know and cherish the other is required collaboration and common will. The saying ‘who is a feather flock together ” is true for many couples, and yet we seek a person for another reason:” ‘opposites attract’.

What  initially heeded or even delighted us at the other, can lead us in the everyday life to conflicts: one prefers human interaction, other is content to dedicate his time to the  maintenance of a car, one wakes up early in the morning, probably full of energy, and the other still has difficulties with waking up in the morning. Such contradictions greatly annoy some of us.

But how can we agree, how can we build bridges to each other? While the other is so different, it is desirable some kind of common attitude: everyone has the right to remain original. With the trust and support,  everyone can say what he wants and what he feels. We come from different families where we had different models. However, we are not set in stone, we can change and we can always learn new things. Given the differences between ‘man’ and ‘woman’, it is wise to give us each freedom and to reduce the list of demands. These small differences are not necessarily a result of education, but rather an inherent characteristic of personality. It is best to keep these details in mind and try to reconquer our life partner every day. When people lives together what matter first are the perspectives: what she perceives as a useful,a  man can claim that is  pointless. No man and no woman have no eyes, through which they can radiographs inner feelings of the other. Those who speaks screaming can express feelings, and those who listen, share attention with body attitude. And while it is so hard to accept  our diversity? Then it is easy to shout and criticize.

In particular, we, the women: ‘you always come home late!’.  Is it that so? He always, come home late? Is it really always? (this was an example, but I can give you so many I used to hear to people)

Generalizations charge. Your partner becomes aggressive or withdrawn itself. Of course we should not hide our feelings behind the door, but you should keep in mind that spontaneous events they can block our partner and then the communication suffers. If we insist on our point of view, encountered resistance from the other increases. Conversely, if we accept each other personality as it is (not as we want it to be), then it is easier to say ‘I’m sorry’, ‘I’m listening”, “I’m interested in how you feel and think, I want to get to know you!’.

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